Sex at First Sight

By Jessica Englund

The Minnesota Daily has gone and done it now. Actually, the article is not too bad: only slightly infuriating. Their article, Sex at First Sight, the author, Heather L. Mueller, argues that more and more college students are having “meaningless” sex. However, if this statistic is acurate, she does not account for those students who choose to have casual sex without alcohol or some form of drug. Supporting more stereotypes, the article states:

Women comply or engage in casual sex to please their partner or to increase the likelihood of a relationship, according to survey results of “No Strings Attached: The Nature of Casual Sex in College Students,” published in 2006 in the Journal of Sex Research. Males comply with casual sex relationships to increase their sexual experience level, peer status or popularity.

Why is it then that just moments earlier, “guys want relationships just as much as girls”? Although, he does debunk some double standards. Persons are quoted agreeing that the old-fashioned view of women and sex are outdated and completely innacurate.

Moving past things that have been ‘ok’ with the article, back to the issues at hand. My major problem with the article was its lack of information on people who choose to have casual sex and do so completely sober. Also, within the question/answer section with Dr. Drew Pinsky, addictionologist and relationship expert, this particular section bothered me:

Q: Is hooking up emotionally or physically damaging?
A: You could put yourself in harm’s way physically if you’re not wearing a condom when you (have sex). Emotionally, if it becomes a compulsion … yeah. You miss the opportunity that college should also be used for spending time with your peers and really having true intimate contact – face to face, share-a-meal-together intimate dialect. That’s a really important emotional developmental process.

Perhaps I am the only one, but I believe that if one makes “hooking up” a part of their sexual life or history, that is their life and can be just as healthy as any other sexual relationship. I believe that if a person “hooks up” and has safe sex, there really isn’t an issue as long as their partners are alright with that lifestyle. I move to state that just because a person perpetually “hooks up,” does not mean that they do not have regular conversation with their peers! Sex is not their entire life! Conversation and “normal” interactions with peers still occur. We are talking about college students, they also attend classes.

If you want slightly more outrage, continue reading the article with the Q&A section. Here are a few of my favorites:

Q: Is it true that when women have sexual intercourse they biologically make a connection with their partner?
A: Oh, yeah. And that’s what they’re trying to medicate away when they drink. … Men do not, because testosterone flushes that all out.
Q: Is dating dead?
A: It’s dead and it’s coming back. It’s resurrecting. It’s been coming back particularly in the Southeast (United States). Where you see dating, you see less hookups. You see people happier about their social lives. … Ladies, figure out what you want and ask for that. Men want to please.

I am not about to comment on these sections…too infuriating. Thoughts?


3 thoughts on “Sex at First Sight

  1. Hala, “an over share”, “apparatus” haha.
    Well, what you said pretty much covered what I would have said.
    Except I would have switched a few things around in number two. Plus I really don’t blame “lack of manners” on parenting. lol, since it’s likely that most parents of eligible men grew up during a period when “old fashioned” good manners were “in.”
    As for feminism giving me permission to be lazy, hmph. I never heard of that one, how do they think it allows them be lazy?

  2. haha, I got it. In my original comment I had meant to point out the humor I found in those two words I mentioned, and in ur post in general. But apparently the words never left my mind.
    That being said, I can relate….
    I have had guys who did such things but usually as mockery since they view feminism as a complete reversal of roles…instead of a “sharing” process. *sigh*

  3. Really spot on post.
    My take on this whole thing is that as long as the person having sex with multiple people is an emotionally sound person, and is doing it for pleasure or intimacy and NOT to fill some sort of internal logical or emotional void, then it’s pretty much just as good as a single long term relationship.
    Unfortunately they seem to have used the stereotype that if you’re having sex with a lot of people, you have to be broken.

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