Do exactly as you're told, all the time, every time.

By Rachel Armstrong

Today, I woke up a little early for class. Like any responsible college student, I chose to spend my precious extra minutes creeping on Facebook. Checking out my newsfeed, I click on my male friend’s girlfriend’s profile. Creeping along, I look at her groups, and notice one called, “A List for Women: What Guys Want You to Know.” I figured I was in for a laugh, and clicked on the link.

I was disgusted. The description included 100 rules that women apparently need to live by in order to stand a chance at scoring a man. Initially, the “rules” weren’t too bad–joking about how football always came first, etc. It was peppered with the typical, gross and mildly degrading guy banter that we’ve been desensitized to–E.g. “SWALLOW! SWALLOW! SWALLOW!” But as I continued through the group description, they grew increasingly disrespectful and downright outrageous.

One of the first eyebrow raisers was Number 21, which warned women against inviting your significant other to meet your parents before they ask you to meet theirs–because “men do rule relationships.” Last time I checked, any healthy relationship was a partnership.

The author/s continued to further degrade women and imply their inferiority. Number 41 explains that “you will never be as good at any sport as a guy.” So, sporty ladies, quit while you’re ahead–You can never aspire to the athletic greatness of a man. In fact, you’re probably better off not speaking at all, because, as Number 56 states, “girls can’t do banter, so don’t even bother trying. You will just embarrass yourself and us. Leave it to the professionals.”

Really, though, it was quite an informative piece of literature. Thanks to Number 81, I now know to “expect abuse whilst on the walk of shame, ” because I am a “dirty little slut,” and that “if we {men} cheat it doesn’t mean we don’t love you (88). Women everywhere can rejoice that they are “primarily f*cktoys” (92), then housekeepers (93), and then, lucky us, whatever we fancy (94). I wouldn’t get too crazy though, because we should also do exactly as we’re told, all the time, every time (34). On the discussion board, one man guaranteed that if women did exactly what they were told, when they were told, how they were told to, there would be a decrease in domestic violence. WHAT?

How fortunate are we that we can do whatever we want, providing we keep a clean house, satisfy our man, and ask first? What’s truly disgusting is that while the administrator of the group is a man (or–misogynistic pig, whichever you prefer), the only additional officer is a WOMAN.

Check it out yourself, ladies. If you’re feeling particularly feisty, join the group and wreak a little mayhem in the discussion boards.


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