The War on Men

For a little over 10 months, I have enjoyed being in a relationship with a man. Not some immature and uncommunicative bro-type, but a perceptive 20-year-old college student who is willing to communicate and share a mature relationship with me. We’ve gotten along well because we think alike, aren’t afraid to discuss our fears, and are on the same page emotionally. Additionally, he’s pro-women’s rights and wholeheartedly supports what I do. Unfortunately, I’m sad to say that recently our relationship has taken a turn for the worse.

A few days ago, Suzanne Venker wrote about a new phenomenon: the war on men. In a nutshell, Venker asserts that men are becoming more turned off by the idea of marriage because of feminism. She says that men now feel intimidated by the idea of having to compete with women rather than with having to take care of them.

Only this last spring did I blog about the war on women and the problems related to male-dominated legislation (on a related note, did you hear about how all of the House committee chairs are men?). While using the word “war” for political issues is often a little hyperbolic (also seen with “the war on drugs” and “class warfare”), I had hoped that the repetitiveness of the term might help lawmakers see that women really did feel personally affronted. Many people have criticized Venker’s article, especially with her use of “war” to spark controversy. However, I believe the phrase accurately describes what is happening in the U.S. Looking back on my past post, I realize the mistake in my argument and understand the complicated nature of the matter: gender equality and all that bullshit might sound good, but in reality it’s just hurting men.

Think about it: men have ruled the world for thousands of years, and within only a few decades women managed to take that away from them. I can’t imagine how damaging to a guy’s ego that can be. We women must assume our gender roles and let men take care of us. As much as I’d like to have a fulfilling career someday, we all know that it’s not as important as serving our men and birthing babies.

Now back to my newfound relationship problems. My boyfriend has always supported my ideas of feminism and not wanting a family until I’ve established myself in a career. After reading Venker’s article, I had an epiphany about my future and have decided that I need to let a man take care of me so I can take care of the house and kids. If I stay with my boyfriend, I won’t be able to achieve this. How can I stay with a guy who treats me as an equal and doesn’t feel like we’re competing? Sorry hun, but we’ve inadvertently been competing for the past 10 months and it needs to end. Obviously men like you aren’t marriageable, so why drag it out?

This crisis of mine can’t come at a worse time, and not just for me. The U.S. has been caught up in progressivism and destructive ideas of equality. It’s not new, but given the recent influx of women in Congress, it’s scary to think that the next generation of girls will see these women as role models and might aspire to be leaders. We need to teach them to think like Gaston from Beauty and the Beast: be pretty, feed the husband (and massage his feet), raise the children, and avoid “getting ideas and thinking.”

I agree with Venker and will soon drop out of college so that I can start my husband search. (Why continue my college education if the only thing I need to know someday is how to act feminine? What a waste of money!) I’m certain that her first move is to discontinue her career as a writer to set an example. I’m hoping that there are some male readers who will take a cue to take over for her, which shouldn’t be too hard to do.

I don’t mean to say that we’ve all wrong for being feminist. I just think we’re wrong for…no, wait, that is what I’m saying. Fellow blogger Taylor mentioned the war on men and dating in her most recent post. It’s really not an issue of being single and happy. No, it’s about waiting for the day when our dreams of gender equality and growing up to be powerful women fade away so that we can find marriageable men.

There are plenty of solutions to this issue besides dropping out of college. We can search for guys that want to take care of us. (Wait, is asking a guy out on a date too straightforward and/or feminist?) We can also assure our boyfriends that we are willing to let them take care of us. (Only after several dates of being pretty and mysterious.) When it comes time to marry a guy, we won’t bombard him with silly wedding planning ideas. (After all, party planning is more feminine.) Most importantly, we can learn to control our angry, defensive behaviors and act more feminine and shy. (I would attribute our anger to PMS, but everyone knows that’s just a stupid excuse for fake mood swings.)

So women, will you join me in my quest? It might be tough to set back a few decades of feminism and change our personal convictions on gender equality, but we can do it!

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3 thoughts on “The War on Men

  1. Bahahaha. The line “I agree with Venker and will soon drop out of college so that I can start my husband search” KILLS me.

    Great post. I just put a pot roast in the oven, quit my job, and threw on a June Cleaver dress in solidarity.

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