Wow! Is this year over already?! Is it already time to do my “end of the semester reflection” post?? I sat down to write this post and had a lot of things I wanted to write about. Recently I’ve been doing a lot of self-reflection about my life and how I’m living it. So, instead of writing about one specific thing I’ve learned, I decided to make a list. Here goes.
1. There’s no such thing as being a “bad” feminist. This is so important to everyone that considers themselves a feminist. The thing that hurts a cause more than anything are the supporters of that cause arguing about the right way to support it. For example, I’ve written about Miley Cyrus and how I think she hurts the feminist cause by using her position of power to completely sexualize and objectify herself. I know a lot of people who might feel exactly the opposite. That doesn’t make either of us “bad” at feminism. It just means that we disagree on one aspect, but we’re coming from the same place. We both want equality. As long as you have that in common, you’re good.
2. You need to pick and choose your battles. This is something I am just now coming to terms with. Yes, we are strong, powerful women who have opinions that need to be heard. But I have realized that when you’re a constant nag about those beliefs, you push people farther away rather than bringing them to your side. People don’t like to constantly be lectured about anything. Stand up for the stuff you believe in, but don’t become that buzzkill that makes everyone hate feminism just because you got so annoying about it.
3. When you choose your battle, keep your cool. This one goes along with number two. When you decide to speak up or start an argument about a topic, don’t get mad. This is one I’m still working on. The problem is, I’m passionate about this. We’re all passionate about this. Women’s rights are important, and anyone who disagrees with us is frustrating as hell. Have you ever heard the saying “fight fire with fire”? Who the heck thought of that? Why would you ever fight a fire with more fire? Won’t that just make the fire worse? My point is, that’s a bad idea. Be the water in the argument. No one takes you seriously if you’re standing around raving like a lunatic.
4. You do not carry the weight of the world on your shoulders. This is something I struggle with. A lot. I am constantly trying to prove that I am as smart, capable, and strong as all the men around me. When I lose at a game or I do something stupid while driving or I need help with my homework, I instantly freak out. I can’t handle it, because I immediately feel like the males in my life will be able to say, “Look at how much women suck compared to men! You can’t tell me that women are equally capable after you just did that!”. There’s a good chance that I’m alone in this feeling. Perhaps the rest of you are much more sane than I am. But on the off chance that someone else out there is struggling with this, I’m here to tell you that your failures do not make you a failed feminist. You didn’t fail all of womankind when you did that shitty parking job or when you lost that card game ten times in a row to a bunch of guys. You’re a person, and you mess up sometimes. It’s okay.
I hope that you got at least a little bit of value from these musings. That’s all I have for you this year, see you in the fall 🙂